Pearls of Elul 5786 - Day Nineteen

August 31 | 18 Elul

The Best Way to Change: A Psychologist's Suggestions

Americans often make New Year's resolutions that are too vague or too ambi tious and are quickly forgotten, says a psychologist who offers a few tips on setting more realistic goals for [the new year].

"I think people don't understand how difficult it is to change behavior,"' said Steven Danish, a Pennsylvania State University psychologist. "You need to be setting a goal that you can think about and apply daily."

Frequently, the annual resolutions are worthless because they dwell on the negative, Mr. Danish said. They usually deal with bad habits like smoking or overeating- without including a plan for eliminating the unwanted behavior.

The goals are "often quickly decided upon and just as quickly forgotten," he said.

The psychologist suggests making resolutions that are specific: " 'I want to spend more time outdoors,' isn't very specific. I want to take a walk three times a week' is stronger," he said.

A useful tool is to divide a resolution into small steps. "The more rungs you have, the easier it is to climb the ladder," he said.

But don't get so caught up in trying to change bad habits that a litle self-praise is overlooked, Danish advises.

"When a newspaper does a 'year in review' section, it doesn't just pick the 10 worst things that happened during the year. It lists the 10 most important events, good and bad."

"I think we need to take stock of ourselves in the same way," he said suggesting that people applaud themselves for their accomplishments of the past year.

Mr. Danish, 43, counsels individuals, businesses and sports teams about goal-setting as a means of helping them reach their potential. A registered sports psychologist with the United States Olympic Committee, he is currently, working with the Penn State hockey team.

- Author unknown, Washington Times